Zephaniah, the 1 Year Old Hero!
Zephaniah helped me load the silverware in the dishwashers hold. I handed each piece to him as he carefully placed each one in a proper hole.
He squeezes my hand and walks down the steps with me and tackles me to the floor to snuggle my whole body!
His hugs are like a straight jacket that you want to wear and when he gets hurt it’s like I feel his personal dispare.
He likes to close doors, pick up toys and mop floors, but to me it feels like my coined term “un-helping” is instead in store…
He always means to help and is excited for a new adventure, he isn’t afraid of anything even if he gets bumped and bruised in his leisure.
Zephaniah invented the forehead hug which he’s happy to give to everyone he loves!
His favorite foods are bananas and eggs and every day he asks for eggs even if he just begged.
I take him outside to the freezer to pick a side for dinner with me, he walks in with a carton of Haagen*Dazs strawberry cheese cake ice cream that together we’d consume after real eating.
He is smart and funny! He laughs at everything and has learned several signs like “please”, “thank you” and “more”. So many more things he’ll learn I’m sure! But what he responds to and understands at 1, impresses upon my heart this poem.
He gets me a tissue and wipes my (dry) nose gently, I tell him to show Daddy the kindness he showed me, he then tosses the tissue on his Dads shirt walking away smiling.
He loves to dance and sing baby shark, but most of all, he loves to touch his mother’s heart.
By SpiritSongPoetry.com or Brittney Crickard (SSP)
Written for
Zephaniah Levi Samuel Crickard
PS he mimics my every sound and deed. If I sigh he sighs, if I say “oh no” he shouts “oh no” with the same feeling as I demonstrate. He sees me sweep and he must do the same. My little copy cat baby. Sometimes when life is busy and I’m cranky I can’t see, he’s only trying to live life well and laugh with and at silly old mommy. He’s a joyful wonderful spirited human.
My Baby Peace
My baby died today, murdered by a storm of unfortunate timing
My body screaming at me that it can’t take anymore, with the crushing reality of the children I already have at home,
Running around like a chicken with my head cut off, jumping at any chance to be enough, always to God I implore to help more
fighting exhaustion with a caffeinated beverage in hand, taking pain medicines, wearing pain patches just to get through life’s demands.
Is it my fault that my baby is gone? I felt like my life had only just begun
I didn’t want another one from the start, so why does my heart hurt now that we’ve been torn apart?
Feeling overwhelmed and all alone, yet is this Gods grace to take him home?
Is this his answer to my prayer for me to live rather than die with not the strength to bring another to this world alive?
The world against him from the start, a world of hurt he’ll never have to play a part
Miscarriages have a way of making a women feel she has failed, even though I know deep down I’m too broken for good to have prevailed
Heaven cries in many drops of rain, the thunderous roars collide on account of my hearts tremendous pain
God chose me to stay, my Solomon to take, I should feel honored and yet still feel betrayed
He moved on to a better place, a mercy I don’t have to face, held in the arms of Jesus is my babe, when I get there I’ll look for my son Solomon’s face
April 5th, 2023
—SSP
I miscarried a baby in 2023. I was heart broken and changed my mind about being done with having children after my first three. I sought to try to find a way to fix my broken heart. God granted my request and gave me my rainbow baby Zephaniah Levi Samuel Crickard on o4-02-2024. He is now in the competition for baby of the year and inspires me daily with his dance moves, his helpful and joyful spirit, his curious adventurous mind and his lovely singing voice and smile :-) I wrote a song called “Gods Rainbow” when he was about 5 months old and every time I sing it I’m reminded of not only how God is the promise keeper that put the rainbow in the sky but how he put the rainbow in my sky and continues to fill my heart.
Teaching
Teaching a child the basics of the alphabet and trying to explain their significance, is hard even with lots of repetitiveness
I once was a child who struggled to read, but I had a mom who endlessly helped me, I know she was ever sending up prayers and without her and God I would not be where I am
I pray for patience and strength every day, because I know that my son will thank me for his knowledge some day
At times learning is full of joy and other times tears, but at the end of the day my sweet son always exclaims: I am the teacher he would always choose
I might feel discouraged as if he is not learning enough, should be progressing faster or I expect just too much; but other times I am encouraged by all that he knows, all that he does and all I am a part of as he grows
No matter what a day of education may bring, I’m reminded that God is in all things, yes; even in learning sounds and letters recited mindlessly, I'm reminded of the grace given freely to me and I know that this grace is the reason I can read
God will bless him, He will not quit, God will equip him and I know all of this, because our Heavenly Father never quit me but gave me the world when He taught me to read
Eventually my son will write and read too, he will continue to grow and improve and someday maybe teach the next generation of youths, how to rise above their challenges and make impossibilities truth
So a challenge to Moms and Dads alike; know your value as teachers in your child’s life, never give up on anything you do and teach your child to walk with pursuit
02-25-23
-SSP
The Pilgrims Parenting
I feel like a bad Mom.
I feel like I’m so concerned with my first child’s education both spiritual and physical, that he’s missing Jesus whenever I’m hypocritical.
I feel like my youngest son is always going to be sick, because I’ve chosen to keep him comfortable between teething pain and his fractured collar bone by giving him Tylenol medication.
Then my middle child, I feel is just lost in the shuffle of life. I’m so busy taking care of her brothers lives, I barely notice who she is or what she needs inside.
I try to be enough for all three, but at night all the insecurities flood my brain with “what if’s” as if their entire existence depends on me.
There does not seem to be enough time in a day; to read to each, hold them close, make their meals, meet their needs, build into their minds and hearts and complete the mile long list of chores.
As if all that weren’t enough, I miss opportunities to touch others, to care for myself or even keep in touch with my marriage and living Gods love. I try to find balance but it’s never enough.
I feel like a clown from a circus in the position of a crowned princess expected to rule a throne with no wisdom of her own and yet, I hold to the promises of the King.
As I read pilgrims progress to my little prince I’m striving to reach with the Gospel message; I am reminded that I too, for the King, am on a pilgrimage, to reach the celestrial city we know as Heaven.
I know I will make lots of mistakes along the way, like Christian in the story, there are paths that seem right in my own eyes, but if I trust in my Savior that I am paid, than I’ll live in His light, the narrow path I can stay, without being lead astray.
Beelzebub, the Prince of Darkness is ever prowling, I’m going to be tested, tired and tried, but I know if I surround myself with hope and faith, that God will be with me and He’ll make my path straight.
Yes I know, I can walk through the valley, the swamps of despair, I can pass through temptations and vanity fair, and even the waters of death yet be safe, with my eyes on that celestrial cities open gates, the Heavens which were built by Gods amazing grace.
I know He holds our futures in His hands, so I trust that my children’s names are written in the book of the lamb, and someday He’ll call out their names as we stand before the only one able to do all that which we can’t.
Note from the author:
We are all works of progress and on a journey for the Lord. Not just my children but myself included. I started to pray these things and I felt God saying “just write and bring your insecurities to a head and combat it with what you know of me” out of this confrontation was born this affirmation that I feel like a bad mom, but only in the dark when my eyes are taken off the King and His promises.
Jan 19th, 2023
-SSP
Broken Things
Broken Things
I thought 2023 would end the year of broken things. So much was broken in 2022, although new things wrought new opportunities too, the broken pieces of everything certainly shined more through.
So far in January 2023, my two year old daughter got two stitches to her face, after head butting Grandma in the nose and coming down on a Star of David necklace she got from me on Christmas Day.
You’d think all that trauma would have calmed her down, but her hyperactivity only momentarily was drowned, before she danced her way into a dizzy frenzy, falling down on her baby brother of whom now has a fractured collar bone and constant frown.
My mother also some how broke her wrist, my Dad did something harmful to his and my husband not but a couple weeks before, damaged his shoulder while ice skating on our date and even now it is sore.
I’m wondering who’s next on this broken fix, even our ceiling needed fixing due to leaking through the ceiling in our kitchen.
2022 brought about broken things, a stollen and damaged car among lots of broken Christmas things, but 2023 seems to me, to be the year for people to be the broken things— I think between the two I preferred the broken things, at least compared to the people that I love surrounding me.
Praise God, even amongst the mess, he promises that He will always do what’s best. Jeremiah 29:11 is still true today “for I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and future.”
I remember that God has a plan for my life, among the broken pieces he is working to provide. Taking all the pieces that I see shattered and building a tapestry to glorify Him and demonstrate His power that I might live in Him.
Jan 12th, 2023
—SSP
Parents Corner
Humor is GREAT! A joke from my 4 year old son:
"Mom, I really enjoyed stacking cans in the kitchen." Mom: "really why?" Son: "because 'I can' get it" ?
The challenge/ take away: what a creative brain for such a young person. Our kids are listening to everything we say and do. We can see Gods hand of creativity when they play, joke, learn and grow. They are mastering even our creative features and personalizing these features to help build their own person, the very person they will be forever. My goal as a parent is to make sure the things I teach reflect Gods creativity, grace, mercy and truth. I mess up a lot! My kids mess up a lot too, but we are learning together, growing together and God will always be working on us until we are in glory with Him. I try to be an encouragement to those around me and I think it's showing in the grace and forgiveness my son can give others. One day he said: "Mommy, don't be sad, today is a new day and we can start again". The wise words of a very prayed over 3 year old boy. Recently, (he's 4 now) I was discouraged again and he said: "Mommy, call Daddy, he needs to pray with you". So my question is this: what are your goals? What are you teaching your kids in the ways you talk to them and pray with them? How can you and I make a difference one child at a time?
Toddlers are Messes Wrapped In Adorable Chub!
August 15th, 2022
Today my almost two year old pulled the tape from my cassettes, she dumped a gallon of white primer down our basement steps. She tossed her cubbies full of clothes out all over her floor and all while mommy tried to feed her brother whose five months old.
Her four year old just sat and watched his mommy's world be destroyed, and what to say when mom came his way? "Well boy she made a mess today". Her husband rushes to mow the lawn she races around to get the lunches done so she can clean another dish before the dinner prep begins.
these are the things of life my friends, they aren't much fun, but there is an end. We need to remember they are just kids, they will grow up and we can be friends. Right now we are teachers, bakers and chiefs. Right now we give hugs and clean up the mess. We are their parents meant to defend what's right and true and sometimes work through the messes our toddlers create.
We remember that life isn't always sunshine and rainbows, praise songs and giggles, bath time wiggles. We remember sometimes that life is complicated but we can give to God our hearts when frustrated, just like we can when our hearts are elated.
